More Additions to Brennan's Photo Gallery

First professional photo shoot at 12 days old!


Let's take a walk...

All clean and snuggly after a bath

Tummy time with Daddy

The new Downer family

Brennan and Grandma Prechel on the special blanket she made for him.

Brennan and Grandpa Prechel reading the Bible

Brennan on the blanket Grandma made him

Hanging out in the Boppy

Notes from Fatherhood

A random collection of facts and observations from my first two weeks as a Dad.

Gross facts and observations:
* I used to think that getting peed on during a diaper change and getting poo on my hands would be the grossest thing ever. Now I don't even blink an eye when it happens. It's simply a fact of life now. (I do wash my hands WAY more often than I used to).
* Naomi is a wonderful provider for our son's nutritional needs and does a great job burping him and lubing him up with lotion, but I'm a better diaperer, wiper and swaddler.
* A moment in the life: as I write this Naomi is changing him and he's cut muffins four times while she had his diaper off. Then she got the new diaper on and he subsequently soiled that one in about 10 seconds. So she changed him again and he let a fluffy another three times. Then he topped it all off with a belch. Brennan is such a guy.
* That's the worst when he drops a bomb in a diaper that's just been put on him and we have to change him again. It's happened at least four times. Kiss about a quarter goodbye every time.
* How can such loud and long farts come from such a little man? He cracked one off last week that lasted about six seconds. If you don't think that's bad, count off six seconds out loud (one one-thousand...). Yeah, it was like that.
* Praise the Lord for breastmilk, because it's really true that what comes out later doesn't smell that bad.

Fun facts and observations:
* Not surprisingly (if you know how we are with our cat), Brennan already has several nicknames. Naomi favors "Bubba", "Pumpkin" and "Sunshine Boy". I tend to call him "Little Man" and "Stinky Boy". So far only one of our friends (Kevin Hass) has busted out "B. J.", but I'm sure that will increase in popularity. I knew when we chose Brennan James that we'd get B. J. once in a while, and was perfectly happy with that. But I knew Naomi wouldn't care for it too much so I wisely never pointed it out.
* Brennan Downer sounds like an author to me. B. J. Downer sounds like a quarterback. Hmm... I'm torn.
* Esther, who we so often treated like a human, has never been a cat to us more. And now we understand why people rolled their eyes (subtly) when we talked about her like she was our first-born. We still love her and regard her as one of the family, but she's definitely a cat.
* She's also a cat who's definitely been feeling left out lately. She's moodier than usual and has taken to sleeping right up by our heads during the night so she can be close to us, since during the day the baby gets more of our lap-time. We are doing our best to give Esther affection too though.
* Brennan now weighs 8 lbs. 5 oz. -- a full 5.5 oz. above his birth weight, which is great. He sleeps like a champ at night but doesn't care much for napping during the day. We have our friends' and pediatrician's blessing to let him sleep as long as he wants during the night, so we'll see how soon he'll go the whole night without waking up. We were hoping that'd happen by week 8, but we might well get there sooner.
* Brennan does NOT like being naked or getting wet, so bath time is his least favorite thing in life.
* Breastfeeding is one of the great wonders and tragedies of this stage of life, and that's all I'm going to say about that.
* I never met a baby that I wasn't perfectly happy to give back to his/her parents until Brennan came along. (Apologies to all my friends with kids and my niece and nephews. You/your children are all very cute and special and I do love you/them a lot but it's just not the same and I'm sure you all know that but my non-parent friends are probably a bit scandalized by this remark)
* If I lived in Hollywood I would get Brennan an agent. I think he's that cute.
* Yes, I am that guy: My kid is the cutest ever!
* Naomi had never changed a diaper when Brennan came along. I changed his first diaper so she could see how it works. Now she's done it about a hundred times -- in the daylight, in the dark, with help, without help -- and can hardly remember what it felt like not to know how to do it.

Some more serious facts and observations:
* Nothing makes you feel more significant than holding your baby in your hands, knowing he's completely dependent on you.
* Nothing makes you feel more powerless than holding a crying baby in your hands who's been fed and is wearing a fresh diaper.
* We are so thankful for the three baby showers we had and all the generous people in our lives who've given us gift cards, diapers, clothes, toys and other things. I don't know how we'd have done it without all that help. We feel so blessed! It helps to know that we're not alone in our care for him. Lots of people love him too, and love us and stand with us in wanting to provide for his basic necessities and more. That's really comforting to know.
* On that theme, I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a provider for my family. I am keenly aware of how many people leave full-time ministry or never get into it because they can't see how they will provide for their families while on support. It's a major issue for many young men coming out of college. They want to go into missions but feel pressure from society, culture and family (even well-meaning parents who are Christians) to get established in a career that will allow them to provide for a family down the road. Raising support just seems incompatible with that goal. (I am thankful that my parents were always supportive of my plans to go into ministry and to raise support. They've been 100% behind me all the way.) I never felt that "incompatibility" in my early years in ministry, but then the stakes have gotten higher over the years. When I started out it was just me. I only had to provide for myself, and I didn't need much to be content. That changed a bit when Naomi and I got married. At that point I needed to look out for her needs too, and some of those were really different from my own. That's been a journey over the last four and a half years and I've had to learn and grow a lot in how to care for her, provide for her and, frequently, put her needs ahead of my own. Now, with Brennan, that's gone to a whole new level. With Naomi and me, there's an exchange. We care for each other and submit to one another's desires and preferences in the daily dance of compromise. With Brennan, it's totally one-way. We give to him and that's how it goes. All that he has comes from us (more or less). And we delight to do it! It's not a burden. It's a joy. We want to give to him. We want him to have everything we had -- and more. We want a life for him that's as good or better than our own. I think every good parent must feel that way. So I find myself asking if I can provide that for him. Can I provide for my son the way my parents provided for me? This is, of course, not only a material question but a spiritual and emotional one. I feel adequate in the latter two areas, but unprepared in the former. If I'm honest with myself, the answer to the original question is "no" -- at this point I can't provide for Brennan the way my parents provided for me. I feel bad about that. So what do I do? Do I need to ask God to change my expectations for parenthood? Do I need to take a hard look at my material desires? Do I need a refresher in the difference between needs and wants? Because indeed the Lord has always met my need in the last eight and a half years. Will He not meet Brennan's needs and Naomi's needs? My faith is being tested. Having a child at the same time as Naomi taking maternity leave and preparing to double our support to go to England is an intersection of events that have me questioning my role as provider for my family. Am I making wise choices? Shouldn't I be looking for a job that will pay me more than I make through support raising? If I am obedient to God's call on my life, can I trust Him to take over the role of provider for my family? Is that how it works anyway!?! This is the same journey I've been on since going on full support in August of 1999, but it's a new journey altogether because of the two people who accompany me now. I need a new kind of faith to take me further down the road that I'm committed to traveling with Naomi and Brennan.

Forgive me for a sports post ... we'll return to our regularly scheduled Brennan posts in a moment

I've got to get this off my chest. Have a look at these career stats for two retired MLB players:

Stat Player A Player B
Seasons 23 16
Games 2777 2089
At-bats 9778 8225
Runs 1272 1249
Hits 2732 2452
Doubles 505 373
Triples 79 79
Homers 379 382
RBI 1652 1451
SB 49 58
BA .279 .298
OBA .341 .352

Player A is former Red-Expo-Phillie-Red Sox 1B Tony Perez, who was elected to the Hall of Fame in 2000, on his 8th try.
Player B is former Red Sox LF Jim Rice, who was passed over for the 14th time this week.

The stat comparison alone is compelling, but keep this in mind as well:
* Jim Rice was an 8-time All-Star in his 16 seasons. Tony Perez was an All-Star 7 times in 23 seasons.
* Tony Perez finished in the top 5 of the MVP voting once and in the top 10 four times. Jim Rice finished in the top 5 five times and in the top 10 six times, including winning the award in 1978. * Jim Rice led the league in homers, rbis and total bases numerous times. Tony Perez never led the league in any offensive category except double plays grounded into.
* Jim Rice finished in the top seven in batting average six times. Tony Perez did it twice.
* Tony Perez has the 9th highest total for career strikeouts. Jim Rice comes in 56th on that list.

The only advantage Perez has over Rice (other than some miniscule statistical edges) is that he played on teams that won more. Perez was a major contributor on the great Big Red Machine in the mid-70s. But the Hall of Fame isn't about how good your teammates were -- it's about how good you were. And Jim Rice was a better player -- albeit for a shorter time -- than Tony Perez.

If Rice isn't elected next year, in his final year on the ballot, it'll be a travesty. It's already a travesty that he isn't in, but it'll be worse -- a mega-ultra-hyper-super travesty.

(Source for stats: www.baseball-reference.com)

Quotable quotes from "Amazing Grace"

We just got Amazing Grace on DVD using Christmas money (Thanks Grandma Ganun). I've seen it three times now and each time I pick up more and more good quotes in it. Here are a few of my favorites, and my reason for liking them:

1. John Newton: Although my memory's fading I remember two things very clearly: I'm a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior.

(What a wonderfully simple statement of two foundational truths of the Gospel. If I can remember those two things consistently, I'm sure it will go well with me).

2. William Wilberforce: No one of our age has ever taken power.
William Pitt: Which is why we're too young to realize certain things are impossible. Which is why we will do them anyway.

(I wonder when it is that we come to believe that certain things are impossible, and stop striving for them. How many wonderful advances in society and technology would not have happened had someone believed that they could not accomplish what they set out to do? I am challenged to ask myself if I've settled in any way. Are there things I myself believe impossible that are nothing of the sort. Have I simply used that as an excuse not to try anymore?)

More Brennan pics!

Brennan in his ubiquitous pose -- hands up. It's like he's being robbed or cheering something; I can't figure out which.

Mother and Son

The whole family getting ready to leave the hospital.

First car ride!

Brennan and Grandma!

Brennan looking grumpy

Those pants are just a bit too big!

More pictures

He's here!

Brennan James Downer was born at 7:02pm today, December 27, 2007. He was 7 lbs. 15.5 oz. and 19 inches long – a big boy! Mother and baby are resting now – Mom in the recovery room and Brennan in the nursery where he’s being treated for a slight fever. We got to the hospital at 7:45am and were officially in labor from 10:30 until he came. Not bad, all things considered. There were a few bumps along the way, but it all turned out well in the end.

Thanks to everyone who has prayed for us along the way!

Skip to the end of this one if you're not into "bathroom" humor

You've been warned...

So I'm in the bathroom this morning getting ready to do my, uh, business, and I notice when I lift the toilet lid that there's a "floater" in there. (Eww! I hate it when the flush doesn't take!) No matter though, I'm sure it'll go down when I flush. So I sit down, do my thing, get up and suddenly see that it wasn't a "floater" in there at all but rather the biggest tree frog I've ever seen (about as big as my hand)! I shout out "oh my gosh!" (seriously... I didn't swear) but no one hears my exclamation. I drop the lid of the toilet right away while the options for "next course of action" start to scroll through my mind. I quickly find my options boiling down to: a) try to rescue the poor creature (somehow) or b) flush the frog back from whence he came. Option "b" seems slightly mean to me, but is far simpler, quicker and, well, less messy. So convenience trumps animal altruism and I push the lever down. I spend the next few moments contemplating the recent proximity of my backside to the amphibious invader and count my blessings that he didn't try to escape the bowl while I was over top of it. As the sound of whooshing water subsides and the tank above refills I decide to verify the success of Operation Froggie Flush. I only manage to get the lid up about four inches when I see that Froggie escaped his watery exit by jumping up onto the front inside edge of the seat, mere inches from where I'm holding the lid. Mercifully, he did not notice his opportune chance for total toilet exit and I dropped the lid with a bang once again. I made a quick assessment of the space between lid and seat and seat and bowl rim to determine (to my relief) that the fat frog wouldn't be getting out of his porcelain prison with the lid down. After that I decided to distract myself from the problem at hand by carrying on with the morning rituals ... putting in contacts, taming the hair, etc. ... in preparation for going out for morning errands with Naomi. Then I did what any self-respecting adult male/head of the house would do: I got my Dad (visiting for Christmas with my Mom) to take care of the frog while Naomi and I went to a doctor's appointment and then out for some day-after-Christmas shopping. Being less freaked out by slimy/jumpy creatures than I am, he had little trouble relocating the frog to the front yard (if by little trouble you mean he escaped several times, explored a good portion of the bathroom but eventually did get carried outside in my dad's cupped hands ... which he washed thoroughly afterward).

So thus ends the saga of the tree frog who took a wrong turn in the plumbing ... and thus begins a careful inspection of all toilets in the Downer household prior to each and every use.

...

Oh, by the way ... no baby yet. But we're on call for when a bed opens up at the hospital. As soon as the call comes we're off to get induced. So maybe tomorrow...

As we look ahead to a new life entering the world we are deeply saddened by another one exiting. Our friend Wendy Vallee (wife of Brent)'s father passed away early this morning in Savannah, GA. Even if you don't know them, would you please say a quick prayer for Brent and Wendy and her whole family as they grieve. Thanks.

Merry Christmas to all my readers, whoever/wherever you are. I hope you had a wonderful day celebrating with friends and family.

Any day now...

Baby D is nearly here ... and Momma is ready! The little alien is kicking and poking and squirming and the womb is just too small a space for all that movement. So we'd just as soon he come on out and get to know the world out here. Tomorrow we go in for our next doctor's appointment to see how things are progressing. Naomi had some contractions on Saturday, but virtually none yesterday. Today they've been sporadic, but starting to get longer. So he could come in the next day or two, or it could be several more days. Bottom line: you just never know. We're both done working ...for the immediate future (in my case) and several months (in Naomi's case), so we'll just hang out till he decides to grace us with his presence.


Here's one last pregnancy photo before we post baby pics...


After all these months I'm glad we've held onto his name and kept that a secret. Keeping gender a secret would've been hard and it's been fun to plan for a boy and not an "it", but it's nice to have something secret that people are really eager to find out about. The name really is important as it'll stay with him his whole life. We want it to mean something -- to both tell him something about where he comes from and cast a vision for where we hope he goes.

So here it is. You've waited long enough. His name is going to

Amateur Predictor

Something this morning reminded me about the bold predictions I made for the 07 baseball season back in April and I looked up that post to see how I did. And the answer is ... not bad. Better than a lot of guys who get paid to make predictions.

I had half the playoff teams right, which in an odd year like this one, isn't too bad. I had the Red Sox, Yankees, Diamondbacks and Phillies right. I had the Sox and Phils as Wild Cards and the Yanks as East champs, so it wasn't exactly precise, but I made it up for it with the bold D-backs pick. That one was solid! Picking the Phillies showed some foresight as well, but the Yankee and Sox picks weren't exactly risky.

I did have the Sox winning the World Series though, so I get bonus points for that, even if that was as much me being a fan as me being a prognosticator. I got close, but missed, on the Tigers, Mets and Cardinals. Picking the Rangers to win the AL West is the lone embarrassment. I don't know what I was thinking. I have no excuse.

All in all, I'm pleased with myself. Maybe I have a thing for this! I won our office March Madness pool back in 2005 despite not getting the winner right thanks to a ridiculous run in the first two rounds. (Yeah, I had Vermont in the sweet sixteen). Back in 1992 I picked every Triple Crown winner in horse racing. But don't worry, friends and supporters, this is strictly for fun -- no money is involved!

Moving on to other topics...
-- The Global Missions Health Conference was a blast, despite my "questionable" attitude going into it. We had more and better contacts than last year. There were several really excellent inquirers with a heart for church planting and a willingness to take initiative and pioneer new work. I'm actually excited to follow up with them and optimistic we'll be able to help some or most.

-- I'm going to become a lean, mean fighting machine. Yesterday I had my first trial kempo lesson and I decided to take up the classes on an on-going basis. Should be fun ... and good for me. And who knows, maybe with enough work I can parlay this into a gig on the UFC!

-- I had something else to talk about here, but now I forget what it was.

-- This wasn't it, but bears mentioning: Anyone else notice how Kelly Kapur has all the good lines on The Office now? (The trash-talking last night was good, but nothing tops "Ryan used me as an object" from a few episodes back). All in all, this season isn't measuring up to the last two, but it's still good for a chortle every now and again.

Random Thoughts

-- A couple days ago I was in my car listening to talk radio and someone mentioned a spreadsheet in a discussion on sports betting. I immediately felt a craving to open up Excel and build a fun spreadsheet using lots of cell formulas. Does that make me a nerd or what?

-- Naomi and I have been going to birthing classes for a few weeks now. Interesting stuff. The most whacked out part of it though: they have a plush baby doll (plastic head, but the rest is squishy), a plush pelvis (for stuffing the plush baby through) and a plush placenta with umbilical cord that velcros to the plush baby's belly (I'm not making this up). All you parents out there are going, "Yeah, so what's the big deal about that?" while the non-parents are probably as astonished and slightly grossed out as I am.

-- We now have a crib living in the corner of my office. A box of diapers is in the closet. The stroller is downstairs next to the dining room table. And the boy himself is doing his best "Alien" impersonation -- it's a little weird to see Naomi's stomach contorting as the boy wiggles around. This is for real.

-- What a great time to be a Boston sports fan. The Red Sox won the World Series in convincing fashion. The Pats are, without a doubt now, the best team in the NFL (with a decent chance to be the first undefeated team since the '72 Dolphins). And the Celtics have the big three and have opened the season with a flourish. I'm enjoying it while it lasts (which could be for a while).

-- Tomorrow I'm headed up to Louisville, KY for the Global Missions Health Conference (GMHC), which is easily my most frustrating regular stop on the conference circuit. It's frustrating because we could be doing so much in combining medical missions with church planting, but we just haven't had the leadership and initiative to do much with it. So I'll meet a number of well-qualified people tomorrow and Friday, but probably won't have the capacity to place them on the field with us. It's just too labor-intensive and I don't have enough time to devote to it. I wish we had a well-placed, full-time person who could concentrate on mobilizing medical-oriented church planters from the U.S. for PIONEERS teams around the world. On the plus side though, I get to spend quality time with Rod Froseth, who at Urbana was sporting the best mullet I've seen since about 1989. I don't know if I like him because of his modern mullet masterpiece or in spite of it.

-- Serious question to chew on: How many excellent missionaries never make it to the field because they are excellent evangelists/leaders/administrators/entrepreneurs, but horrible fund-raisers? How many good people are we losing because we require all our field people to be good at whatever they're going to do on the field AND good at raising funds? I shudder when I think about it.

-- It's really hard to type when your cat is lying across your forearms ... and licking one of them. How much is she going to freak out when we bring home baby?

Off to bed with me now...

32 weeks!

This is Mama and Little D at 32 weeks. Today marks 33 weeks--only 7 more to go! Scary and exciting all at the same time. As the belly grows, so does the anticipation of meeting this active little guy!

More than just a Dad?

I've been thinking a lot lately about how my life is changing this year. I seem to spend a lot of time thinking about, reading about and talking about impending fatherhood, often at the expense of other topics that I care about -- topics which use to consume a lot of my thinking, reading, talking ... and writing. I'm painfully aware, for example, that I've had just one post on this blog not related to the baby in the last four months (and that streak will continue since this post is related to the baby!)

Is my life about anything more than just, well, someone else's life? Should it be, or is it a noble thing to be that devoted to another human being? I'm wrestling with that right now.

Frankly, this whole thing started with me finally making the decision to be less selfish. Until mid-February I didn't want to give up my social life and all the things I enjoy doing with friends. I turned a corner that month and realized I was moving into a new stage of life and needed to accept that and trust that it would bring good things with it too. I'm the last of my close friends to have kids -- most of them have two in fact -- but most of the people I hang out with here in Orlando are single. But in February I stopped trying to live like them and be a part of their world. My world needed to change ... it was time.

But now, eight months later and two months shy of fatherhood, I'm a little nervous. What's my life going to look like when Baby D comes? Will my whole existence revolve around meeting his needs? If it does, will I be content in that, or will I rebel against it (as so many people do -- most publicly, the ones in Hollywood)?

At times I really worry that I'm going to resent the baby because of what his dependency will mean for me. Will I become someone who's whole life is about his kid(s)? But there are other times when I can't wait to be changed by his coming into my life. Perhaps the baby will, like nothing else ever has, compel me to be less selfish, get me out of myself, bring out a gentle, nurturing side in me and help me to understand God's love for His Son and His heartbreak on the day of Christ's crucifixion. This is my hope, and what I ought to be praying for, because I fear there's a battle waging inside of me for my "fatherhood soul".

My roaring 20s (which encapsulates my post-college single days and most of my married-without-children days) were rich times of trial and error, adventure, development and becoming comfortable in my own skin. By the time I "graduated" into my 30s I felt pretty comfortable as a 20-something. Now 31 and on the cusp of a whole new stage of life, I wonder if I have what it takes to navigate these waters.

I can take comfort in looking back though: there has always been uncertainty and doubt at the beginning of every stage. And over time God has always proven faithful to help me get through it and even to thrive in it. May it be so again.

28 weeks and counting!

This photo of Mama and Little D was taken last week at 28 weeks. The belly is ever growing!

More Baby D Pics

Here's baby's face... can't tell if he's smiling ... or frowning because he's being prodded with the ultrasound thingy.
Here's a close-up of baby's nose, upper lip and mouth, and his left hand -- the left hand that'll one day be throwing 99 mph heaters at Fenway Park!
And, finally, here he's showing his powerful left foot ... the foot that will score many goals in the English Premier League. (He's practicing kicking his Momma's belly right now) ...
And speaking of Momma's belly... (24 weeks and counting)

P.S. For all who might be interested or wondering, we're registered at Babies R Us for all those essential items that baby can't do without (and a few that he can, but they were SO cute!)

Fairness and Grace

On this post we finally have something other than a baby/pregnancy photo ... since I don't want to be one of those people who never talk about anything other than their kids. (Not that I know anyone like that!)

Recently I had someone tell me that he wasn't sure he could help me out with something I'd asked him for because, in his words, if he did it for me he'd have to do it for everyone who asked.

Huh?

I've heard this line of reasoning before, and until I went to Austria to work with refugees I actually believed it.

Who made up this rule and what basis does it have in Scripture (for all of us who believe that the Word of God is worth emulating)?

Since when has God been fair, giving to everyone in equal proportions? Grace is anything BUT fair. How is it fair when someone who has followed God her entire life gets the same reward (eternal life in paradise) as a convicted murderer who repents just hours before he's set to be executed? There's nothing fair about that -- but I wouldn't have it any other way!

It's grace -- freely given to us according to our need, not according to what someone else has, needs or deserves. God approaches us with great personal care and specific blessing. He knows each one of us intimately and desires to relate to us individually. He doesn't treat us like automotons or robots, giving us a one-size-fits-all proportion of Himself.

Look at the parable of the talents. He doesn't give the same amount to each person, but gives different amounts in order to test their faithfulness and stewardship, and, ultimately, to give us a lesson in each.

In my life, I know that all that I have comes from God. And he's given me things that he hasn't given to some of my friends or coworkers or family members. And he's given them some things that he hasn't given me. Rather than accusing him of being unfair, I ought to thank him for what I have and consider it a sign of his grace and blessing in my life.

God has an endless supply of blessing, but he doesn't give everything to everyone. He parcels it out in unequal amounts, giving some things to some people and some things to other people. He does this with great wisdom in order to accomplish plans we don't always understand.

Us created beings -- we have limits on what we possess and can give away. We have to be wise about it as well, and discerning. To say that we must give equally to all who asks is a cop-out -- an excuse not to listen to the Holy Spirit and apply wisdom and discernment to each situation we encounter. We can do better than that.

If my friend doesn't want to do something for me or give me something after he's thought it through and, hopefully, prayed about it, that's fine. God may not want me to have what I sought from my friend, or may want me to get it somewhere else. But if my friend says no because he is worried about setting a precedent for all those future situations he may or may not find himself in, then I would boldly suggest that he is taking the easy way out and abdicating his responsibility to carefully consider each situation like this on its own merit, allowing God to speak to and through him (directly and through his Word).

The moment we start to apply this kind of blanket philosophy to our relationships with one another, we run a terrible risk of stifling growth, squelching life and squandering opportunities.

Strong words, I know. Any counter-points out there? Comments?

20 weeks!

more baby pics

The upside to having to see a specialist because of a little hiccup in Baby D's development is we get more pictures of our little boy! Enjoy...
It took a while (and a little poking and prodding) but Baby D finally turn toward us so we could get a good picture of his face.

Here he's waving at us. You can even see his little metatarsals! He's got the right number of fingers!

It's a boy (but this is not the picture that shows it)!

This is Baby D looking right at the camera. You can see his feet at left, hands/arms in the middle, and head (cranium -- kind of looks like a skull -- I hope our little boy isn't Skeletor!) on the right. Not the cutest pic ever, but he's our boy and we love him anyway!

4 months down ... 5 to go

My beautiful bride's beginning to show!