You've been warned...
So I'm in the bathroom this morning getting ready to do my, uh, business, and I notice when I lift the toilet lid that there's a "floater" in there. (Eww! I hate it when the flush doesn't take!) No matter though, I'm sure it'll go down when I flush. So I sit down, do my thing, get up and suddenly see that it wasn't a "floater" in there at all but rather the biggest tree frog I've ever seen (about as big as my hand)! I shout out "oh my gosh!" (seriously... I didn't swear) but no one hears my exclamation. I drop the lid of the toilet right away while the options for "next course of action" start to scroll through my mind. I quickly find my options boiling down to: a) try to rescue the poor creature (somehow) or b) flush the frog back from whence he came. Option "b" seems slightly mean to me, but is far simpler, quicker and, well, less messy. So convenience trumps animal altruism and I push the lever down. I spend the next few moments contemplating the recent proximity of my backside to the amphibious invader and count my blessings that he didn't try to escape the bowl while I was over top of it. As the sound of whooshing water subsides and the tank above refills I decide to verify the success of Operation Froggie Flush. I only manage to get the lid up about four inches when I see that Froggie escaped his watery exit by jumping up onto the front inside edge of the seat, mere inches from where I'm holding the lid. Mercifully, he did not notice his opportune chance for total toilet exit and I dropped the lid with a bang once again. I made a quick assessment of the space between lid and seat and seat and bowl rim to determine (to my relief) that the fat frog wouldn't be getting out of his porcelain prison with the lid down. After that I decided to distract myself from the problem at hand by carrying on with the morning rituals ... putting in contacts, taming the hair, etc. ... in preparation for going out for morning errands with Naomi. Then I did what any self-respecting adult male/head of the house would do: I got my Dad (visiting for Christmas with my Mom) to take care of the frog while Naomi and I went to a doctor's appointment and then out for some day-after-Christmas shopping. Being less freaked out by slimy/jumpy creatures than I am, he had little trouble relocating the frog to the front yard (if by little trouble you mean he escaped several times, explored a good portion of the bathroom but eventually did get carried outside in my dad's cupped hands ... which he washed thoroughly afterward).
So thus ends the saga of the tree frog who took a wrong turn in the plumbing ... and thus begins a careful inspection of all toilets in the Downer household prior to each and every use.
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Oh, by the way ... no baby yet. But we're on call for when a bed opens up at the hospital. As soon as the call comes we're off to get induced. So maybe tomorrow...
As we look ahead to a new life entering the world we are deeply saddened by another one exiting. Our friend Wendy Vallee (wife of Brent)'s father passed away early this morning in Savannah, GA. Even if you don't know them, would you please say a quick prayer for Brent and Wendy and her whole family as they grieve. Thanks.
Merry Christmas to all my readers, whoever/wherever you are. I hope you had a wonderful day celebrating with friends and family.
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