Repentance

Some of the best sermons I've ever heard have come from the music of Derek Webb. One of his songs, "I Repent," has a great message which definitely gets me thinking every time I hear it. (You can listen to the song here)

I Repent

words and music by derek webb

i repent, i repent of my pursuit of america's dream i repent, i repent of living like i deserve anything of my house, my fence, my kids, my wife in our suburb where we're safe and white i am wrong and of these things i repent i repent, i repent of parading my liberty i repent. i repent of paying for what i get for free and for the way i believe that i am living right by trading sins for others that are easier to hide i am wrong and of these things i repent bridge i repent judging by a law that even i can't keep of wearing righteousness like a disguise to see through the planks in my own eyes i repent, i repent of trading truth for false unity i repent, i repent of confusing peace and idolatry by caring more of what they think than what i know of what we need by domesticating you until you look just like me i am wrong and of these things i repent

Ash Wednesday

The Ash Wednesday services I attended while growing up were basically all before I became a Christian. The meaning was lost on me. Since leaving home for college and then setting out on my own after college, I haven’t attended an Ash Wednesday service in nearly 15 years. Most years, the day just becomes another date on the calendar. One day closer to the end of the month. For some reason, this year feels a little bit different. I’ve remembered what the day is. And I’m making an effort at pondering the meaning and significance of the day.

Other than marking the onset of the Lenten season, Ash Wednesday is also a day of repentance. Repentance is definitely an area I need to improve on. In my prayers, it’s so easy to just rattle off a quick list of sins that are in the forefront of my mind and then move on to the things I want God to do for me and call it good. I can’t remember the last time I actually focused on repentance. Not just asking forgiveness, but really, truly repenting of my sins. Remembering them, asking the Holy Spirit to help me remember my sins, and letting my heart be broken over the ways that I have grieved my Father. When was the last time I let repentance allow my heart to be changed—recognizing the seriousness of my sin and pledging to turn away from it, with the help of the Spirit? Sorry to say I can’t remember.

I think the issue of sin has been totally glossed over in society and in our churches. Sin is the big, ugly elephant in the room that no one wants to acknowledge. It’s not fun. It’s not easy. But for our churches and for each individual to become more Christ-like, we need to acknowledge it, bring it out in the light, and get cleaned up.

I hope that I can spend time today in repentance. I also hope that it doesn’t become a once a year type of thing. To truly follow hard after Christ requires that it become a more regular habit.

Birthday Shout-Out

Happy birthday, Dad! Happy birthday, Grandpa!

War Wounds

Part of learning how to walk is falling down sometimes. Boy, did Brennan ever learn this lesson the hard way yesterday morning! He is such a busy little guy these days, walking all over the place. He decided to try walking down the one step that separates our kitchen with our living room. Not having done this before, he didn't know what to expect, so it was face first into the wall--resulting in the injury you see below. He was comforted rather quickly and doesn't seem to mind the scrapes and the fat lip that are slowly healing.

Getting Ready for Spring!

To celebrate the great weather this past week, we've gone a few trips to the park. When we tried on Brennan's hat from last summer (size 12m-24m), it was too small! So, it was off to Babies R Us to find a new hat for him. Given that it's still February, the selection was pretty slim, but we found a good one with a good message: "Plant a Tree. Think Green." He's an environmentalist at a very young age!

Baby Dedication

This past Sunday, there were some infant baptisms at church. That got me thinking that we never posted a picture of Brennan's dedication. We had our little munchkin dedicated on Sunday, February 24, 2008, at our church in Orlando, Southeast Christian Church. It was a special time for us to stand before our church family and publicly dedicate Brennan to the Lord. The outfit he wore that day was the outfit that my brother wore when he was baptized as a baby many years ago. Our pastor presented us with a small New Testament with Brennan's name engraved on the front cover. We sure do look forward to reading him stories out of his Bible and introducing him to the Lord! It is our deepest desire that he and any future children we may have will come to know the Lord at an early age. It'll be exciting to watch his faith journey as he grows older!

Retreat Weekend

This past weekend, I went on a women's retreat with our church. 125 women descended upon Williamsburg for a weekend of rest, learning, and all things girly. We've only been a part of Hope for a few months and our wacky schedules don't really allow for us to get out there, meet people and get involved. I really enjoyed the opportunity to get to meet a number of other women from all walks and seasons of life, although the introvert in me began craving some solitude by about lunchtime on Saturday--only halfway through the retreat!

The hardest part of the weekend was being away from Brennan. It was my first weekend away from him, and I really tried hard not to worry and wonder if Daddy was going to remember everything I told him before I left. They did fine, and Brennan even got his first kid's meal ever at Wendy's when they were out over lunchtime. It was pretty special to come back home, and my boy just kept hugging me. Awww...

As for the teaching, I really appreciated the over-arching theme of rest. Now, as a mother of a toddler, rest really only comes when he is sleeping (or with Daddy). Rest used to be such a natural part of life. I had my classes or full-time job, but then I had distinct hours of freedom where I could do homework, clean, or just plain rest and relax. I still have some freedom during my days, but it is much more limited. While I still take time out to rest, that rest usually consists of an occasional nap, reading (devouring) my latest book, or (more recently) playing the Wii. It's rare these days for my times of rest to include time spent with God. When it happens, it's difficult for those quiet times to extend longer than maybe 20 minutes.

The easy answer is that life happened, distractions happened--many things have interfered to keep this girl off her knees and occupied with other things. It didn't used to be like this. In college, I had an entire year that I set apart Sundays for a Sabbath rest. No studying, more time spent in the Word, more time spent fellowshiping with my brothers and sisters in Christ. These days, I'm not so sure that setting apart an entire day for a Sabbath is realistic. Maybe I need to start small...set aside an hour or two a week for some quiet time to hang out with Jesus and reflect on life with Him. On a good day, Brennan will nap for 2 or 2 1/2 hours, which will give me plenty of time for such an activity.

While the spirit may be willing, the flesh is certainly weak! Distractions abound, and I must find a way to tame those impulses to spend time doing everything but having time with Jesus. As I ponder what it means to rest and what Sabbath rest looks like at this stage of my life, I need to remember that we have been created as human beings, not human doings. It's all part of the fun of figuring out how to incorporate life as it used to be with life as it is now.

3-D Baby

We were given two pairs of 3-D glasses for a couple of commercials during the Super Bowl. Brennan discovered them today and has had a ton of fun dragging them around the house. He looks pretty snazzy in them, too!