Fairness and Grace

On this post we finally have something other than a baby/pregnancy photo ... since I don't want to be one of those people who never talk about anything other than their kids. (Not that I know anyone like that!)

Recently I had someone tell me that he wasn't sure he could help me out with something I'd asked him for because, in his words, if he did it for me he'd have to do it for everyone who asked.

Huh?

I've heard this line of reasoning before, and until I went to Austria to work with refugees I actually believed it.

Who made up this rule and what basis does it have in Scripture (for all of us who believe that the Word of God is worth emulating)?

Since when has God been fair, giving to everyone in equal proportions? Grace is anything BUT fair. How is it fair when someone who has followed God her entire life gets the same reward (eternal life in paradise) as a convicted murderer who repents just hours before he's set to be executed? There's nothing fair about that -- but I wouldn't have it any other way!

It's grace -- freely given to us according to our need, not according to what someone else has, needs or deserves. God approaches us with great personal care and specific blessing. He knows each one of us intimately and desires to relate to us individually. He doesn't treat us like automotons or robots, giving us a one-size-fits-all proportion of Himself.

Look at the parable of the talents. He doesn't give the same amount to each person, but gives different amounts in order to test their faithfulness and stewardship, and, ultimately, to give us a lesson in each.

In my life, I know that all that I have comes from God. And he's given me things that he hasn't given to some of my friends or coworkers or family members. And he's given them some things that he hasn't given me. Rather than accusing him of being unfair, I ought to thank him for what I have and consider it a sign of his grace and blessing in my life.

God has an endless supply of blessing, but he doesn't give everything to everyone. He parcels it out in unequal amounts, giving some things to some people and some things to other people. He does this with great wisdom in order to accomplish plans we don't always understand.

Us created beings -- we have limits on what we possess and can give away. We have to be wise about it as well, and discerning. To say that we must give equally to all who asks is a cop-out -- an excuse not to listen to the Holy Spirit and apply wisdom and discernment to each situation we encounter. We can do better than that.

If my friend doesn't want to do something for me or give me something after he's thought it through and, hopefully, prayed about it, that's fine. God may not want me to have what I sought from my friend, or may want me to get it somewhere else. But if my friend says no because he is worried about setting a precedent for all those future situations he may or may not find himself in, then I would boldly suggest that he is taking the easy way out and abdicating his responsibility to carefully consider each situation like this on its own merit, allowing God to speak to and through him (directly and through his Word).

The moment we start to apply this kind of blanket philosophy to our relationships with one another, we run a terrible risk of stifling growth, squelching life and squandering opportunities.

Strong words, I know. Any counter-points out there? Comments?