A commercial I saw the other day got me thinking about retirement. It made me realize I'm enjoying a kind of temporary retirement right now. What is retirement other than not working anyway? It's getting to do the things you want to do, rather than what you have to do (to earn money).*
* (I still have to do certain things to earn money -- I have to apply for at least two jobs a week to maintain my unemployment benefits. And, of course, I have to be in job search mode. But the amount of time and energy that is dedicated to that varies from day to day and week to week -- by necessity sometimes, by choice at others.)
I have certain obligations that restrict that freedom, but I've had a lot of time to do the things I want to do. I get to spend lots of time with Brennan. This is an obligation (I can't just leave him at home!), but also a joy. We go to the park a lot and play in the shopping mall play areas. We've gone to Barnes and Noble for story time with Clifford. We go to the library. We've gone to the Children's Museum. We hang out at home. It's great!
I've done lots of yard work. This is also an obligation. I can't very well have my pregnant wife pushing around a lawn mower (not when she's going to be pushing a baby out in the near future). Nor can I allow the yard to turn into a jungle/rainforest/wildlife preserve. But it's also kind of fun and fulfilling. I work hard at it, get exercise, feel all manly (I am John: tamer of nature, whacker of weeds, bagger of leaves, etc.) and, by doing it during the week, I'm freeing up the weekends for family time.
I also spend lots of time reading. Not always books, as Naomi would prefer, but magazines (SI, Reader's Digest and Christianity Today) and articles on the internet (from CNN, the Boston Globe, Sports Illustrated and other sites). (Naomi thinks the term "surfing" applies to all activity done on the internet and that "surfing" does not include any actual "reading". I protest.)
It's been nice to have more time to do the things I enjoy and am passionate about as well. I have gotten involved with my church's missions committee and recently completed writing and compiling an 85 page handbook for participants in short-term missions trips. I adapted some parts from two similar handbooks, wrote up a debriefing section from talks I used to give for the Edge (Pioneers' summer program) and came up with 15 devotions for team members to use on the field. It was truly a labor of love! I've also been researching opportunities for refugee ministry and outreach to international students here in Richmond. I've been learning a lot and finding strategic ways to get myself and my congregation involved. Naomi and I will soon be "adopting" a Turkish family that are here for a year doing a program at VCU. Should be fun!
Lastly, I've had more time to think. The focus of my thinking is vocation. For the first time in a long time what I've done in the past is not really shedding light on what I should do in the future. So I've had to go back to the beginning and ask the fundamental question: what do I want to do when I grow up?
Before I can answer that I need to know what criteria I should be using to make that choice. Make a certain income? Do what I was created for and where my gifts lie? Do something that has eternal value to it? All three? Pick two? Different voices in my life say different things, and it's tough to discern truth from lies. It takes time, energy, concentration, rumination, meditation and prayer.
Actual retirement is bound to be a bit different. Grandkids instead of kids. Not looking for another job. But there'll still be yard work most likely, things to think about and read up on, hobbies to pursue and other enjoyable things to do.
Sure would be nice to find a job that will allow me to retire someday, but won't have me longing for it every day between now and then.
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