So, this post is a request for some advice and help from people who are currently going through a similar situation or who have been there. Brennan used to do so well with sleeping through the night, but for the past month (maybe longer) he's been up once or twice a night, sitting up in bed and yelling. Now, this wouldn't be such a big deal but it's been every night. I realize that there is a selfish aspect to this--I want to sleep through the night again. I wish I could say that I'm willing to put aside this desire in order to address Brennan's need/want, but when it's the middle of the night it's really difficult to think about how I can best comfort Brennan when all I want to do is have one night of uninterrupted sleep.
We've tried just about everything to get him to sleep through the night again. The bedtime routine has been kept the same. We have a nightlight, a fan going to provide some white noise, and curtains to block out outside light. I've given him big suppers and tried warm baths before bed. I've given him teething tablets, Tylenol, and Motrin (not at the same time, like some kind of weird infant drug cocktail). I've taken away the crib toy which seems to excite him rather than soothe him, and he has two stuffed animals in bed with him. He naps great during the day, which the experts all say should lead to better nighttime sleep. When he yells at night, we give him a few minutes, go in without speaking, lay him back down, cover him up, and leave. He's then fine after that little bit of comforting. The past two or three nights, we tried letting him just sit and yell, but that failed miserably. The yelling turned to crying and then became hysterical screaming.
I'm just not sure what to try any more. Part of me thinks he's just going through a phase which will eventually pass. The other part of me thinks that he's gotten into a bad habit which we need to break using whatever means possible. If anyone has any advice, words of wisdom from voices of experience, or just words of encouragement to get through this rough patch, I'd love to hear them!
4 comments:
Naomi, I sympathize with you and hope you start getting better sleep soon. Everything in life is more difficult when you're exhausted.
I would recommend the site Ask Moxie, because she approaches child-rearing questions with moderation (as opposed to some "experts" who think their way is the only way). In particular this page, http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2005/12/quick_and_dirty.html (check out point 4) may be helpful, as well as this page: http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html .
Like Moxie, I think that the best thing to do is the strategy that works for your particular family that allows you to get the maximum amount of sleep. For my family, when Eowyn went through this (and boy, did she ever) that meant letting her cry it out. This was around a year of age. The first night she cried for two hours straight--it took all my will power not to go to her. The second night she cried for an hour. The third night was half an hour. The fourth night she slept through. She still would have times after that when she would wake up on occasion, but it generally was never as hard to "break the habit" again.
I've made the choice not to go to her at night unless she is clearly sick. And yes, that resulted in her once crying herself to sleep in the middle of the night in the midst of her own vomit because we didn't realize she had thrown up. So, nobody's perfect! But, Eowyn does generally sleep very well at night.
Now, this approach clearly cannot work for everyone. You may not want to let your child scream for that long, and I certainly understand that. That's why you will find some arrangement (and believe me, you will!) that works for your family and your unique situation. Don't give up! You will get through this, I promise.
To quote from Moxie's blog, nobody takes their mother to college with them to help them get to sleep. :-P
I've never heard of Moxie but personally agree with what I read here. We intended to let Corban and Eva "cry it out" during the night but never did -- Corban b/c he fell back asleep so easily when comforted and Eva b/c she would have blown the roof off the house if we hadn't gone in to get her! Both kids had periods of mid-night wakefulness that resolved, with our basic strategy during those times being to get them quiet as soon as possible and get back to sleep. :) I'd say that if Brennan quiets easily, keep that up and maximize your sleep while this period lasts. If he works anything like mine have so far, this will just be a period and you'll be back to seamless sleeping before too long. Hang in there!
Hi there! Jana had a phase like this too, awhile back. Just like you said- sleeping great through the night and taking naps fine. The only thing that worked is letting her cry it out- the first night she cried about an hour but then the next two nights were less and less. She has never gotten to the point of throwing up from screaming, but I if it had ever gone that far I don't think I could do it. I did notice it was hard all over again to let her cry, even though we had to do this with her before. Some may say he is starting to drop his second nap- is he on 2 naps? Jana didn't do that until around 15-16 months though so I'm not sure. For her that just meant waking up really early in the morning ready to play. If you think it is dropping that nap, I'd recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child- very practical advice! I hope you're able to get this behind you soon!One day at a time...
I'm told that when my brother was around Brennan's age, he did something similar. My mom said she set the end of his crib close to a tall dresser and lined up 2 or 3 bottles on it. He would then get up, give himself a bottle, and fall back asleep. Turns out, for him, we has just hungry/thirsty in the middle of the night. She had to change sheets pretty much every morning but she always says it was totally worth it.
Be sure to take notes so if I ever have kids and they go through this, you'll be able to give me a long list of ideas!
Hootie
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