Firsts

This February is marked with several significant "firsts" for us, all related to Ella. A year ago, we began sharing the news that we were pregnant. A year ago on Leap Day, we found out that she had died. A year ago today (according to the ultrasound), she was born into heaven.

It's strange to reflect back on what life was like a year ago. She is never far from my thoughts and always in my heart, but I remember her today especially--this day when heaven became her permanent home. In some ways, it feels odd to mark this day since we had no idea that she had died. But in other ways, it feels perfectly right to mark this day, her heavenly birthday.

John bought me three roses yesterday. A red one symbolizing love for Valentine's Day. A pink one to remember baby girl. A purple one symbolizing royalty, a reminder that Jesus is our King and that Ella's forever home is in His most perfect Kingdom.

In the weeks following her death, I had bought a necklace off Etsy that said "Remember" on one side with a tiny footprint and birthstone on the other side. Recently I've found myself wanting to get something that represents all my kids. I found the perfect one for me and it came just yesterday. The boys were excited to see which one was "their" egg.

So...we mark this day and remember her brief, tiny life. We never forget our little amethyst who was in the nest for such a short time but left our lives changed forever. Happy first heavenly birthday, Ella. We love you and miss you, sweet girl.