A Light in Dark Times

Time for a candid post. Most of our blog readers know that we lived in Florida for nearly five years. And that it was the darkest five years of my life. I struggled relationally and spiritually for years. Depression became my constant companion. I begged God daily for months to put an end to the misery. To be perfectly honest, I don't really remember much about those years there. And those few things that I do remember from that time have a dreamlike quality about them that makes them seem not truly real.

During that time in Florida, we made the decision to purchase a townhouse. It's one of those things that gets chalked up as "seemed like a good idea at the time..." It unfortunately has turned out to be one of the worst mistakes of our lives. Our short sale process on it has been pretty much a nightmare from the beginning. It looks like it might finally be nearing the end, but it certainly has the potential to be one of those mistakes that could haunt us for years to come.

As I was thinking about these things the past couple of days, even tending toward despair when it came to the short sale process, I found myself wondering if there was any good that came from those years. There was so much difficulty, so much bad. Was there any redeeming quality from those years? Sure, we had our church, Southeast Christian (whose name has now changed twice in the time since we left). Most of the other good memories I had all involved traveling out of state!

I was reminded yesterday that even in our darkest days, God can still give us wonderful, good gifts. For me, the wonderful, good gift that was given to me during that time was Brennan. Despite our best efforts to relocate to Richmond before his birth, his birthplace wound up being Florida. But just looking at his little face, his cute chubby feet, and hearing his laugh remind me that he is God's precious gift, His light from that dark time.

John's unemployment was another dark time. But during that dark time, God gave us Owen. He is our other precious little gift. I love his smiles, his snuggles, his wiggles. Another light from God in another dark (but not quite so dark!) time.

Remembering these two lights helps to keep the dark times in perspective and reminds me that God can redeem those times, even when it seems like no redemption is possible.