Naomi's Guide to Prepping the Bird

Let's see ... turkey breast for $8 or entire 11 lb. turkey for about half that? Not a tough decision. There was a downside though: Naomi would have to clean and prepare the turkey. This is not something she's had the opportunity to do yet in her life, so a learning experience was in store. And by "learning experience" I mean "photo op". Here is Naomi's guide to prepping the bird. (Move over Rachael Ray).

Step 1: Remove giblets. (Be sure to only use thumb and pointer finger so as not to goop up other digits).
Step 2: Carefully inspect bird cavity for missing neck of bird.
(Discover that bird neck is crammed in other end of bird).
Step 3: Display still-frozen bird neck to camera and make grossed-out faces (not shown).
(Be grateful that bird head was not included).
Step 4: Give bird a bath.
Step 5: Dry bird off with paper towel pat-down.
(Shave, lotion, deodorant and after-shave not necessary).

Step 6: (Not shown). Give bird a lovely spice massage and rub down, then throw it in the oven for three hours.

Step 7: (This is where I come in). Eat bird.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!