A slight digression from the topic at hand...

I've recently begun to understand a crucial difference in healthy and unhealthy compromise in dealing with conflicts.

Compromise involves two people finding some middle ground -- each giving up something in order to find a happy medium, hopefully resulting in peace for a time. I think in healthy compromise you see both people giving up something at that particular point in time, or perhaps by trading a "right" today in order to persist in a "right" somewhere down the road: "I'll do this for you if you do this for me in the future."

But what about those times when someone gives in but does so begrudgingly? Bitterness creeps in and there's no peace or happiness for long. Rather than calling this "unhealthy compromise" I prefer the term "capitulation". Capitulation is a forced surrender. If an enemy outpost surrenders after a conflict, the garrison inside may come under your authority, but they'll never be at peace with you. They remain the enemy, and the captors must be vigilant and keep watch over them. There's little chance for rest because the enemy might rise up again. In relational capitulation, one surrenders their will but does so with a distinct lack of alacrity.

In compromise, there's a coming together ... a sort of "detente" or cease-fire. A break in the action long enough to find a peaceful solution. Think of the alliances that spread around Europe in the early 20th century and compare that to Germany's capitulation at the end of World War I. (This won't make any sense if you don't know your history!)

For a more contemporary example...
You want to go to a certain restaurant. Your friend wants to go to a different one.
Compromise might be going to your friend's choice this week and your's next week. Or it might be choosing a place you both enjoy. Capitulation would be that you agree to go to your friend's place but spend the whole night complaining about the service, quality of the food and ambience. You did indeed go your friend's way, but you spent the rest of the evening punishing him or her for it.

I think it's hard sometimes to see this as it is unfolding in a relationship. It's a somewhat subtle difference, but a true joy-killer and relational stumbling block. Conflict happens and finding compromise is necessary for relationships to survive, but it's important to make healthy compromises and not capitulations.